The Luck She Felt

I’m going to tell you a Story of a Girl. A story about the time the girl reveled in her luck.

For years, she had been internally struggling with anxiety and the pressure of crowds. Agoraphobia. Panic attacks became a norm when feeling suffocated by the crowds or the vast emptiness of being alone.

Too difficult for others to comprehend, she hid this condition. She hid from her reality.

Yet there was one individual, who had once seen her almost lose her mind in a crowd, that she confided in. Only once.

She spoke of the discomfort and carried on. It was never to be brought up again.

Months followed and she found herself in the middle of a crowd at an event, suffocating from the pressure around her. Just as she stepped away from it all to take a breathe, she received a text from her confident:

“Hey, are you okay?”

“Ya, I’m okay. Why”

She could only manage a meek reply. She felt the need to stay strong despite her breaking inside. Yet the response she received from that message was one she could never have imagined to hear. One which left her a crying and beautiful mess at a time she was struggling to hold her pieces together.

It was a response that felt as though she was being held in a tight, warm hug, so that she would not have to worry about herself falling apart.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay because I remember you said you don’t like being in crowds”

So sweet, so tender, so loving, so caring. Such a beautiful response. And in that moment, nothing could stop her tears from falling, nothing could stop her heart from pounding, and nothing could stop her lips from smiling.

That day, she felt so overwhelmed with happiness. She felt supported and loved. Appreciated and understood. She felt that she mattered.

And thankfulness is not what she felt. Gratitude is not what she felt. 

Her emotions were more like the rolling waves of the ocean; happiness and love and appreciation all gently kissing the beach of her heart. 

All she knew in that moment, was the luck she felt.

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